Archive for the ‘Humor’ Category

Finally, it’s over

Around a year ago there was a great tragedy. Something was taken from me that was unthinkable. I didn’t know if I would have the chance to see it again or not. It was all over the news. People everywhere were in shock just like I was. It was too hard to swallow the fact that it was now gone.

The community came together and voiced their love for it. Candlelight vigils were held. Signs were made. Children cried from Mississippi to North Dakota. Life would never be the same.

The news media helped. They got the word out. People were talking about it. I was even interviewed by a local news crew about my loss. It was the bottom of the barrel.

It all finally changed a few months ago. Word got out that it might be coming back. Hope was starting to creep it’s way back into the lives of the people.

The wait has been exhausting. Many sleepless nights I’ve been awake thinking this day would someday come. I often sat at my desk during the day and pondered what it would be like to finally know that life was true again. That day is now here. The wait is over. Life has begun anew.

I bought a box of Twinkies last night.

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It’s Official: The World Is Ending Saturday

Free image courtesy of

Free image courtesy of


When the sun rises Saturday morning, devastation will be only a whisper away. As people go through their normal routines that morning, they won’t be aware of what is actually happening in the world outside their home. As they start their car and head to town, they will be blinded by a sight they never thought they would actually see. When they pull into the Chick-fil-A to get their normal breakfast item, they will see words that will send chills to their bones.

Closed For Remodel July 14

Could there be any more dire words in the english language? Could there be a more devastating moment as that? As people run to the doors and look inside, they will see nothing but darkness. As they sit in their cars at the drive-thru speaker, they will hear nothing but silence. People will be in shock at first and then desperation will set in. The sweet tea junkies and milkshake minions won’t be able to take it anymore. Riots will break out in the streets and protest signs hoisted into the air. Little children will stand at the entrance holding their kids meal story books waiting to trade it for ice cream. All of humanity will be lost.

As the evening settles on the first day and the wounds of war begin to make stomachs ache, people will realize that there isn’t any “chikin”. There will be no sound of mooing in the air and no “may I help you please” ringing through the car windows. People will be at a loss for words. “The end has arrived” will be spoken by every man and woman alike. The realization of the moment will sink in. They will realize that for several weeks, there will be no Chick-fil-A.

Unless they visit one of the convenient other East Tennessee locations until the Oak Ridge site reopens in August.

Did you enjoy the story? If so, it was my pleasure.


What is your favorite Chick-fil-A item on the menu?

Copyright © 2012 – Chris W. Lawson

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